Eat, Learn, Change Your Life

by Carol Quinn

1170313_dinner_invitation_11Before 3Lunches, I had informal “coaching” relationships with several friends and acquaintances. My friend Kate, a reflexologist with her own practice, is a natural coach. “Don’t think negatively,” Kate reminds me when I’m imagining the worst.  “It doesn’t take any effort at all to be positive and open.” Kate has really good, very impractical ideas that both make me laugh and also look at the situation from a different perspective.  I am a literal, probably very boring coach, but Kate appreciates the experience I bring to the table.  Our relationship is built on interdependence; sharing skills, sharing the contacts we have – and all of our meetings involve food.  We cook, we go to restaurants and as we eat, we focus on helping one another.  It was Kate who helped crystallize the idea of 3Lunches.  “Everyone needs this right now…go spread the word!”

 

I have a similar friend-to-friend coaching connection with my best male friend, David. Over the years we have asked one another to lunch for help with a variety of issues. David mostly asks for coaching about relationship issues and though I try, I don’t think he listens to me.  He smiles and nods as my words fly right past him. But when I’ve needed business advice, David gives me his full attention.  I go to him for ideas and plans about how to get from A to B.  Occasionally, I actually ask him to coach me through a tricky business phone call or email.  He’s very patient.  Love that.

 

This kind of friend-to-friend support is, of course, very different from going to a therapist…or a life coach. Therapy can be amazingly helpful, but it is absolutely not the same thing as turning to a friend who is invested in you, who knows you and who loves you.  I wonder if the choice to use outside professionals has something to do with the process of paying for the service? Does the financial exchange remove a sense of obligation to follow the advice? I can say from experience that engaging with a friend implies an obligation.    

 

When a friend coaches you, you are obliged to succeed.  “How did that meeting go?” David asks. “Did you get the assignment?”

 

“What’s going on with 3Lunches?” asks Kate. “Have you launched the blog?”

 

“The meeting went great!” “The blog is up!”

 

I am living proof of the fact that it is entirely possible to eat, learn and change your life before you’ve digested your meal.    

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2009/05/02Coaching ThoughtsTags: , ,

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  • cquinnth

    Great idea! Three is a very powerful number. A lot can be accomplished with three encounters, much better than one or two. I need this and am going to try it!

  • nyluncher

    When you need a fresh perspective and some practical advice for coping with life’s challenges and transitions, what better forum can there be than having lunch with a trusted friend or acquaintance? It’s brilliant and so simple, like many of the best ideas. The 3Lunches process is easy to follow and enjoyable for both the coach and coachee. One person gets the positive direction and encouragement they need, while the other has the satisfaction of knowing they were able to do good for someone while getting three great lunches in the bargain. It’s a win-win situation! Thank you, Carol and Anny, for coming up with a terrific new way for people to connect and help one another face-to-face in real time, especially in today’s fast-paced, screen-driven, no-time-for-it world.

  • swissskigirl

    can’t wait to try this. I’ve come close to trying something like this, but this is very specific and time-limited so I think it’ll work. I can coach and am in need of coaching – and I love eating lunch!