A friend of mine, Mary–a museum exhibit designer and a painter–was approached by a young woman who wanted a career in the museum world. Mary was delighted to help and asked the recent college grad to visit the 3Lunches blog to get familiar with the process, and call when she was ready to start.

Enthusiastic, the young woman quickly arranged the first lunch. It went smoothly. Mary explained what museums were looking for from candidates, made resume suggestions and even offered the names of a few people to contact. The young woman was excited about potential employment and grateful for the advice.

Mary waited for the next lunch in anticipation. She was curious about her coachee’s progress and had even made a few calls on the young woman’s behalf. Weeks went by. Months went by. The young woman never called again.

Mary felt frustrated, a bit unfulfilled; she wanted to follow the story of this young person’s career search to a successful conclusion.

I had a similar experience with a young professional with a book idea. I agreed to do 3Lunches with her to kick the tires of the concept to see if it would stand up to being fashioned into a saleable nonfiction book.

Our first lunch went exceedingly well, and while her idea was clever, it wasn’t fully developed. It was a concept that could be taken in many directions: an art photography book, a book sponsored by fashion partners and celebrity models with proceeds going to charity, or not a book at all, but rather the basis for an advertising campaign that she could possibly sell to a fashion brand. As we discussed her project, I tried to keep my opinions to myself and simply laid out the steps needed to further develop any of the directions. At the end of our time together, we wrote out the various ways her project could take shape and the tasks needed to begin.

As she was leaving, though, I had a flash of insight. As a writer, I know how much energy and commitment is required to complete a project. I told my coachee that while it’s always exciting to have a great idea and to start something new, the best test for the potential success of your project is whether you can dig in and get started. If you can’t summon up the stamina to commit to the work wholeheartedly, it’s probably not the right endeavor for you at that moment. I am practical in this regard. I have lots of ideas, but only concentrate on the ones I feel a compulsion to complete. I let the other good ideas float away. If they’re really good, someone else will develop them. My coachee answered by sharing that she had begun many creative efforts in her life. “I have a problem finishing things,” she admitted.  I countered with the possibility that she simply hadn’t discovered the creative project she wanted to finish. Sometimes, you have to start and stop many projects before you find the one that you want to stay with. On that note, we parted.

Having an idea for a project or a book or a screenplay or a new business is very different than actually doing something about it. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to fully complete an idea, to foster its incarnation. It’s grueling to bring any kind of a project to fruition. It’s hard to research and write a business plan. The same goes with a career; taking the needed steps to break into a profession has absolutely nothing in common with the romantic fantasy about that great job. There’s nothing easy about creation, whatever its form.

As a coach, one of the more important things you can offer coachees is help to gauge their true enthusiasm and readiness to embark in a new direction. If your coachee drops out of the coaching process, it’s not necessarily a bad sign. It may be an indication that your coachee didn’t have sufficient passion or interest to continue his or her pursuit of the stated goal. So, you did your job…or a job that needed to be done. If you can help clarify that for a coachee, it’s an amazing gift. You saved that coachee a whole lot of time and frustration.

Of course, it would be nice if your coachee called and explained why that second lunch never happened, but unfortunately, human nature being what it is, sometimes 3Lunches may feel like an unfinished story.

My young writer with the book project still hasn’t contacted me for our second lunch. I’ve coached quite a few people since, but I do occasionally wonder what happened. Perhaps she dropped the project…or maybe she sold it?

I am prepared for our second lunch, though. Just in case.