Here’s what a perfect friend-coach looks like:

• One who listens to exactly what you’re saying.
• A person with the ability to place his or her personal issues aside to focus on you.
• Someone who thinks creatively and is open to talking through issues.
• A compassionate, but active friend who wants you to succeed – not support you in your misery.
• A fan who believes in your potential.
• A communicator.
• An optimist.
• A person who willingly makes time for you.
• Experienced and willing to share.
• Creative in life and love and work.
• Giving.

People with these characteristics are extraordinary individuals and usually come by their gifts quite naturally. They are the friends who bring vanilla ice cream because they know it’s your favorite flavor. They are the friends who drive you to the doctors for tests that make you nervous. They are the friends who try to help you find solutions to problems.

Many of us, though, have to work at being a good friend. It doesn’t come quite so naturally. And we all have people in our lives that aren’t there when we need them. They are the people who fall apart when a crisis is happening to you. They don’t call when you’ve just lost your job, not because they don’t care, but because they are filled with panic and don’t know what to say. They are the friends who are the most emotional and the least helpful.

3Lunches is a format for friend-to-friend coaching, but it also provides structure and a guide for being, and becoming, a good friend. Selflessness is the one quality we all need in our friendships, and it’s quite possible to practice it with a bit of effort and self-discipline. It’s time we all committed to being better friends to one another, not just while we’re coaching, but every single day.

 Have a safe and happy Labor Day.

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