I see it everywhere. It’s in self-help books, on TV talk and reality shows, and observed in online conversations—and personas.

“I feel good about myself.”

“I’m the best.”

“You’re wrong. I’m right.”

“I know more than you do.”

There it is.  The mantra of American life.  It’s imperative to be right, to “own” your brand, to identify yourself, and parade your “rightness”– even if your ideas or choices are awful.  It’s the Fox-ization of America.  The self-spin.  I’m OK…but who the hell are you?  My view of the world is the world.  Screw everyone else.

Is it really essential to believe that I’m right?  I hear and read and am told that I should feel good about my decisions, my accomplishments, my self.  Two thoughts occur to me: sometimes, truthfully, I don’t like myself, and the decisions I’ve made or am contemplating making; and, if we are all happy with ourselves at all times, have we completely lost the concept of right and wrong? If we’re all always right, is their no wrong?  Is there no one to blame?

According to nearly everyone I know, I spend too much time focused on my faults.  I’m told to forgive myself, to focus on my accomplishments, not to dwell on the negative.  If I dwell on the negative, something terrible will befall me.  I’ll get sick.  I’ll attract disease.  I won’t be happy.  I won’t find true love.  The converse of this theory would appear to be that if I don’t take the blame, if I see myself as terrific even when I’ve been a jerk, and I celebrate my accomplishments and deny my faults, all will be well.  But this is nonsense.  It has to be.  It’s certainly an American phenomenon, but it has spread.  Everyone, everywhere seems to be on a tear.  Nationalists rule.  And the new nation is the self.  Self-esteem is catching– like the flu.

What is wrong with self criticism?  What’s wrong with sadness and despair?  Aren’t they perfectly reasonable responses to bad behavior, loss, war, and natural disasters?  What is so wrong about feeling wrong?  And admitting it when we are wrong? It seems that if we’re all convinced that we’re OK, the result will be an impenetrable mass of humanity without compassion.  Because the only manner by which compassion is reached, is by the ability to empathize.  And empathy means you have to walk in someone else’s’ shoes—and they may not be Jimmy Choos.

I’m a convert to insecurity.  I’m all over a lack of confidence.  I’m all up in temperance.  Give me a world filled with self-doubters, and I’ll show you a peaceful existence.

Let me pose a radical idea: low self-esteem could save the world.  If more people felt guilty, unsure and simply bad about themselves, there would be less energy to do harm to anyone else.  A little self-doubt could go a long way.

I propose we bring back shame, self-doubt, worry.  Let’s celebrate the losers.  Let’s embrace the confused and lovelorn.  Just inoculate yourself against self esteem.   Face the world with all your imperfections and damn if things won’t get a lot better.

I’m screwed up and I don’t know what to do, we’ll all say. And what will everyone else in the world answer back?

“Me, too.”